The Prayer Warriors 1: The Evil Gods Commentary
by Void Child
Summary: This "fanfiction" I am commenting on is a disgrace to all mankind. This is an attempt of a humorous take on BelieverInChrist's story.WARNING:ORIGINAL STORY RATED M, BUT IT DESERVES A T RATING.
1. Chapter 1

Believer in Christ: Hello Jesus!  
>Jesus: Hello my son. <strong>Trying to "talk" to Jesus, eh? Lame.<strong>  
>Believer in Christ: Am I saved by writing this story.<br>Jesus: Yes my son.  
>Believer in Christ: Good. Now should I go hunt down those Satanists. <strong>Ever heard of this wonderful thing called a "question mark"?<strong>  
>Jesus: Yes my son.<br>Disclaimer: I do not own the Bible, God does. I will not feel sorry for using Percy Jackson as it is evil and should not have a disclaimer. **I will not feel sorry for making fun of your crappy story.**

**Being Together The Army**

_Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. -Proverbs 16:18 _**Oooh, a Bible quote! That makes this story automatically awesome!**

I am Jerry and I am a prayer warrior. **I always knew there was something strange about that mouse...** I am a servent of the lord and will do anything to get rid of evil Gods. Lately the Satanic leader Percy Jackson **Really?** has taken over much of the land, along with his Satanic Army and his girlfriend whore. **WHORE? There's so much Riordan hasn't told us!** She has sex with other people just to get Satanic money. **Satan this, Satan that. Now Satanic MONEY? I don't know anyone who goes around carrying Satan bucks in case they run into Annabeth.**

That means that I have to get an army together of Christians, so that we can defeat the servents of Satan, and defeat his evil puppets, the false greek gods, who are in fact a lie created by Satan to poison people`s mind. **If Satan could create fricken gods, he can easily beat anyone who challenges him.**

_Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise. – Deuteronomy 12:30 _**That quote had nothing to do with anything.**

"Hello my fellow Christian" I told Mary, who is named after Jesus`s Mother. I and her are not dating, if you Satanic scum think that there is something Satanic going on. We are dating, **LIAR!** but we are not having Sex until we get married. But because we are 15, it means that it is going to be while before we do such a thing. **Whoa, someone's getting defensive here!**

"Yes Jerry, how are you. Have you been doing the lord`s biddings?" she asked me. **Not your everyday greeting.** I nodded my head and then she took out the bible and we read the first Chapter of Genesis, which is about the the creation of the world. We talk about how God was so good that he was kind to create a great world as we live in. **There's more to life than fricken God and the Bible and Satan Bucks.**

_He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. -Proverbs 18:13_

Then we discuss about how Satan had poisoned the world by inventing false gods such as Zeus and Venus, who were sex gods, which is against the Ten commandments. **Do gods have to follow the commandments?**

"I need an Army to defeat the evil leader Percy Jackson" I asked her. **That was not a question.** I wanted an army so that I could defeat this Satanist and his ungodly army. **I'm honestly on Satan's side in a war between him and this douche.** This is America which is a Christian nation, **Not.** so Satanist, athesit, hindu, muslims, buddhist, and any other non-god fearing people, who worshiped false gods, should not be allowed in this God fearing Nation. **Then go ahead and kick me out, buddy! I wanna see YOU kick out the hundreds of millions who aren't Christian! **We must get rid of them, and make them slaves, if they agree to being a fellow Christian. **"Will you convert to Christianity?" "Yes." "Then we'll make you a slave."** Once they truly believe in God and his son, Jesus, then would we release them to bring glory to God and his son. If they still did not believe, we would burn then, just as their fellow Satanist did when they refused to worship our lord Jesus Christ. "I want to bring Glory to God" **I'm not even going to say anything now.**

_Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.-Isaiah 13:18_

"Then I will show you my Christian friends. You will not find a ungodly one among them. There are as clean as you can get them" she told me. She had a her hair tied back so that it would not get in her and not look like a Satanic whore. **So any girl who does not have her hair tied** **back is a Satanic whore. **She also made sure that her skirt did not show any of her legs, or else it would be a sin for a man such as myself to look at it. **And if you look at any part of a female's legs, you're going to Hell.**

And that was when I got message that a follower of the Satanic leader Percy Jackson. He was there to force people in believing in false gods that made their followers get naked and perform Satanic killings. **...Why get naked...**

_Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. -Leviticus 18:19_

_But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die. -Deuteronomy 18:20_

So I went down stair to face the false prophet. He was a believer in false nature gods, such as Pan, who is Satan in disguise. **Everyone is Satan, aren't they?** He had big Satanic horns, so that everyone that was Christian could tell that he was a Satanist. **So all bulls, moose, rhinos, and deer are actually Satan in disguise.**

"Believe in my god Pan" said the Satyr. "I am Grover and I am servent of Pan and Satan, who are great gods. They are better then God and Jesus" **Gosh, can anyone last five seconds without ranting about Satan?**

_He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed. -Exodus 22:20_

So to defeat this Satanic scum, me, Mary and one of her Christian friends that was there, her name was Ruth, prayed to God and our lord Jesus Christ, to bring down this false prophet. And behold, a group of locus came from the heavens and ate Grover alive. No part of his body, other then his guts and his brains, was left. No even his bones remained. **How come we don't see swarms of bugs from Heaven come down from the sky and eat bad people every day?**

_And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the land of Egypt for the locusts, that they may come up upon the land of Egypt, and eat every herb of the land, even all that the hail hath left. -Exodus 10:12_

So we brought glory to God. We killed a sheep so that we can say thanks to God. **Die, foul Satanic beast!** Then we went back church and prayed some more. We read the Bible and how Paul convert many people to God. Then Mary`s friends came and we made them members of the Order of the Prayer Warriors. **Well that was quick.**

_Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. -Isaiah 13:16_

Believers in Christ: Thank you for read this and I hope you have turn to the glory of God and his eternal son Jesus Christ, the greatest thing to ever happen to this earth. **What about canned bread?** May all that read this be save.  
>Jesus: You done me well son. <strong>Shouldn't Jesus have better grammar?<strong>  
>Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord for giving me live and allow me to write this. Amen.<strong> Go Satan!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**CJNova: Yes, it is called "The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One" by BelieverInChrist.**

Believer in Christ: The Holy One has return.  
>Christ Himself: Yes you have. You have been blessed.<br>Believer in Christ: And with this blessing I will rid the world demons.  
>Christ Himself: The unholy ones are thee, Theia47, SonnyGoten, ImagingThings and TheBratMan. <strong>How mature!<strong>  
>Believer in Christ: Thee have wage war on our lord Jesus Christ and must be ridden!<br>Chirst Himself: And Alistairlevi13 for serving the dark lord Satan!  
>Believer in Christ: May all these wevil ones burn in hell! <strong>I'm glad you are not God for two reasons. 1: Your grammar sucks. 2: You just damned the people who flamed you.<strong> Amen.  
>Christ Himself: Bless my son.<br>Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord! Amen and amen.

**Defeating the Whore!**

A prayer (speak it out load to be save, you unholy ones. If you do not do so, then to the depth of hell you unsaved souls will go forever!): **Come at me bro.** _I believe in everyone that is spoken with this holy word, and will follow it so the full command, even ridding the world of those flithly atheist! Amen and amen! _**Hm...I wonder who wrote that very poorly spelled and hateful "prayer"?**

_And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. -Leviticus 21:9 _**Are these even real Bible quotes?**

And we met to plan a attack on those evil beings.**WHAT evil beings?** We discussed their weakness, and their desires to turn the good Christian world away from our glorious one and only great god of all nation, our lord Jesus Christ (fear all you athiest, jewish, muslim, buddhist and all others that defy this great God that will punish you and send you to hell, **Here he goes again...** where you will burn for in all eternal history, where your body will torn apart, and spread across a endless, lifeless land, where you will be eaten by all foul breast. **We will all be eaten by...a foul breast.** You will all be punish, all of you. God does not put up with such evil things with this God fearing nation. **We get it. You're an official dick.** And that nation is not just America, but all of the world. This is God`s world! And you athiest must convert, pray for all your wrong doings, and believe that our lord Jesus Christ is the one and only true God! Amen). **Where's Satan when you need him?**

So we decided that we will attack a rational study group, **Why?** for they work foul thins **Lisping much?** which the lord Jesus Christ forbid. We brought hundred of our most faithful servents to come along to see such Godful work!

"All hail Stan" they yelled. **Who is Stan? Is Stan the wevil god of Satanic whores and foul breasts?** "We will serve the devil. We will corrupt the nation of God to bring everyone too hell, where they will will burn for in all eternal history, where their body will tourn apart, and spread across a endless, lifeless land, where they will be eaten by all foul breast. **...You just repeated exactly what he was thinking about. Coincidence?** We must KILL GOD! GOD IS DEAD!" **How can you kill God if he's dead?** I was so dishearten by this comment that I want to rip the mans head of and fed it to the dog. **The things that go on in your mind disturb me.**

"Behold the greatest servent of the lord" I yelled to those foul things that call themselves people. **Someone's getting emotional... **"I have come to kill you all in the glory of our lord Jesus Christ". **Jesus would be SO disappointed in you.**

"On behalf of our Satanic god Zeus, God of Whores, we will slain you all. **Yeah, every Greek god is a whore god. Who needs a sky or sea god when you could have a hundred hooker gods?** And we will send to hell!" said Clarisse La Rue, the leader of such an evil gang. Mad as I could be, I ran towards her and sliced of her unholy, God-riding hair! **So her hair rides on God like a horsie.** Her head rolled on the ground as the unbelievers scream. As the began to run we cached up to them and killed them all. We left the bodies to rot in the group, for they did not deserved to be buried. We left people to guard the bodies, to stop any of the unbelievers into getting them. **Not even a Satanic group would be as barbaric as you.**

_The memory of the just is blessed: but the name of the wicked shall rot. -Proverbs 10:7_

And we came across a temple that is a worship ground of the evil goddess Artemis, where she and her daughters kill holy lambs to the god of whores. And it made me sick! **You shouldn't be talking, sheep-killer...**

"You must all be punish" I yelled to the sinners, the filth of the Godful world that our lord Jesus Christ rules over for eternal history, ever and ever, amen and amen! **Huh?** "You must boy down to our God (the only truth that must be offered in this day and age) or witness the wrath of Jesus of Nazareth, who is the one and only true God! Amen. Commit!"

"We will never bowed down to your Godful kind, for we want to corrupt the youth and bring war upon the world. WE ARE THE CAUSE FOR EVERYTHING, INCLUDING WORLD WAR 1 AND 2, THE WAR IN IRAQ, AND THE VIETNAM WAR. WE WANT TO BRING SUFFERING TO EVERYONE! **Sounds like BelieverInChrist is just trying to convince us that the "Satanic gang" is much worse than his Prayer Warriors. That failed.** We will send every single God fearing Christian servents of the lord Jesus Christ to the death row! You will all be punished" said Annabeth, Zeus most famous whore! **Woohoo! Let me get out my Satan bucks!**

"All praise and glory to Jesus Christ, to whom I owe everything" I declared to the Dogful and Christian like world! **Is it the same dog you wanted to feed that guy's head to?**

Annabeth laughed. "Those ways are old and tired. Our way is much better" she screamed. **Ever heard of this wonderful thing called an "exclamation mark"?**

"But at least our way works! Amen" **Yeah. Saying "Amen" after every sentence makes you so holy. You're like Jesus reincarnated.** I said to the Satanic and filthful whore. So I charged at her, grabbed her hair, and dragged her across the muddy and filthful road, where I got an axe and sliced her head open, and let all kinds of Godful worms eat her alive, letting none of her brain to survive. **And where did the axe and Godful worms come from? Heaven? And how can a worm be godful? So many unanswered questions...**

THE WHORE WAS FINALLY DEAD! AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN! **And amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen**

And we had a holy party where we prayed to God and sang hymns of his greatness and glory. We did not drink, nor did we have sex, for that will make us look bad. **What a lame party!** We were Christians and did not live like those filthy Atheist that mush all die! Amen. **Hardly sounds like a prayer to me.**

PS: Priest do not have sex, so the church is not in trouble. It is holy and will be obey by all people! **Someone's getting defensive again!**

_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡._ **What does that have to do...with anything?**


	3. Chapter 3

Believer in Christ: Who will burn in hell?  
>Jesus Christ: Anyone that curse ye profits <strong>And that's the 500th misspelled word I've counted.<strong> such as you.  
>Believer in Christ: Yes, and this includes lazorboy96, JzeHampen, G.J. Forever and PorschePower911. You will burn in hell for mocking me.<br>Jesus Christ: I will make sure that this comes true. Amen.

We are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags. =Isaiah 64:6 **Yep. These quotes are fake.**

A good new aroused to us today with death of the Satan being Osama Bin Laden. **Oh, I thought PAN was Satan!** His death brought joy to all those that followed our ways. Mass murderers like him should never have been allowed to be born at all. **Yeah! Just like...hm, I don't know...YOU!** His mother should have killed him at birth. **Which is far worse than abortion, which you are against.**

And so we prayed that God will destroy all other Muslims for they are evil and must be ridden off, along with all the nonbelievers and sex addicts. **Yeah. God won't end world hunger, but he'll gladly destroy all Muslims and hedontists.** God and our lord Jesus Christ of Narrative will not let anyone like that enter their eternal kingdom, nor will they let them work across the holy earthen ground. God bless the United States of the Holy North American Continent and Precedent George Bush for leading this fight against evil. **Dude...you just mentioned Bin Laden's death. You need to catch up on some recent events.**

And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made. =Exodus 32:35

And me and my girlfriend Mary, who is named after the Virgin Mary, who is also a virgin, **NO WAY!** waiting for me to marry her before we will have sex. We went to our room to read from the bible. Our gave her a private lesson on the third book of John. Although it short, it has many valued lessons such as ignoring false teachers such as Diotrephes who went against the true message of the church. We shall not allow people like these to mislead us ever again.

I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words. =3 **Keyboard porn!** John 10

And then went into main hall and Percy Jackson was there. He stood very tall looking down at us like David and Goliath, when they fought a battle to decide the fate of Holy Israel (If do not support Israel then stop reading thing for you will go to hell anyway). **Oh...ok.**

"Convert to the false Gods of the Greek and to the unknown God foretold in the Holy Bible, in the book of Acts," he yielded. **That was just a random bunch of wierd phrases pasted together in an awkward "sentence".**

"You have made a deeply mistake by taking me on heathen. Now you will be published by being sent to the eternals flames of hell where you will be whipped for ever by Satan for being fooled by him in the first place for he is evil and God is the great eternal thing ever. **Who is NOT going to Hell? Apparently, only a fricken swarm of locusts.** The unknown you talk about in the Holy Bible which is in the book of Acts is in fact the good of Israel, the God of the Bible, and the father of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. All the gods of Greek are actually the devil, Lord Satan, in disguise. **So there are a hundred Satans that can create gods and are also Osama bin Laden? You're screwed, Jerry.** It is you that has been fooled. It is not too late for you to repent and follow the ways of our lord Jesus Christ who died on the cross and was raised three days later. His death paid for the sins of everyone around the world and he wants to pay for your sins as well. We are all sinners. So repent and you will be saved. All you have to do say (speak it out load to be save, you unholy ones. If you do not do so, then to the depth of hell you unsaved souls will go forever!): _I believe in everyone that is spoken with this holy word, and will follow it so the full command, even ridding the world of those filthy atheists! Amen and amen! _This is all you have to say," I told a bald speech. **Oh, no! His poor speech lost all its hair! Maybe the foul breasts ate it!**

"No I will never. I will always fool you by worshiping a false set of gods, Zeus the bastard king, **The King of Whores and Bastards. Not a nice title to have.** and will secret preying to the lord of the darkness, Satan himself," Percy Jackson said.

This gave me no choose but to charge at Percy Jackson kill, but he got away in a cloud of smoke cause by witchery. And it was then that I realised something. There was a traitor and I was my task to find this tractor out. **How did you find out there was a traitor? And how does this have anything to do with your missing tractor? Maybe the godful worms ate it!**

But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss? =Luke 22:48

And so I told the Prayer Warriors a story. It was of Judas and him betraying of Jesus Christ, our lord and Saviour. I wanted to find a way to find the traitor but it was no good. So I went to bed very scared. I had to find the traitor. Amen. **That was...unnecessary.**

Believer in Christ: You are all traitors for mocking me **We were never on your side.** and God and his eternal right hand son in the kingdom of heaven. **What does being right-handed have anything to do with this?**  
>Jesus Christ: Yes you are right, they are traitors and they will get a traitor punishment. They will be sent to the lowest parts of hell, where it is the hottest. It will be heat that will kill them. <strong>How can we die...in Hell...where we will already be dead?<strong> Amen and amen.


	4. Chapter 4

How dare you mock me? Do you realise that if you do not follow the true path of Christ you will burn in gell!** About TIME he misspells Hell!** Repent now and you will be saved!

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it. =Matthew 7:13-14

The passage I have just read is from the gospel of Matthew and tells us that most people will burn in hell, but a few true followers will cherish the treasures of heaven. **I believe that nobody deserves to go to Hell. But if anyone would deserve that fate, it would be you.** I am only doing my job in warning those of the flames of hell that awaits them. **By killing innocent men, women, and sheep!** As for Percy Jackson, is corrupting the minds of young innocent children as the satanic works of Harry Potter, where witches and wizards are allowed to still exist. **...You seriously think witches and wizards EVER existed? Wow.** The church made sure things such as this would go away, but it seems as if it has returned. I am only protecting you for your own good. The Greek gods are just as bad as the satanic religions of today, where Buddhist priest with their false profits kill innocent people in aeroplane crashes. **Christianity is a religion of today...**

And so my friend asked me what types of music is the most evil. And I told them most music was evil. **Is there any GODDAMN THING in this world that is NOT Satanic and evil?** But there were a few musicians for so called protectors of their ways.

"Nirvana is the most evil band ever to walk the earth. Not only did they name after a satanic way of thought, **Nirvana is actually another word for heaven...** but they cause the death of many innocent people, due to the suicide of the coward Jurk Cobain. **And how exactly does that kill people?** Their music is too loud, and they have evil Lyric such as 'God is gay' (God and Jesus Christ, my lord and savoury, please forgive me for what I have just said. Please don't send me to hell). **Looks like you're outta luck, bro.** This is offensive to God and his eternal Son. Kurt Cobain only realised that he was being controlled by Satan at the last moment, **What a surprise! If Satan can control any person, god, or foul breast he wants, he has won the war already!** so he killed himself. But because that was a sin, and cause millions of children to do the same thing, he is burning for eternality **Is that a word?** in hell. Do not one of the you listen to such evilness," I told them.

"I will never listen to them ever again," said Ethan Nakamura, once a follower of Satan, now a reformer, repenting his sins, and now he will be going heaven. **Along with the other 3 or 4 people in this story who are actually going to heaven?** This is what happens when you repent. You will go to heaven. Why would anyone reject something like this? **Once again, you are getting off topic, Mr. Greatest Author in the dogful world.**

"Yes, and now another musicians that are bad is Green Day. They rejected Precedent George Bush and support the evil Obama, the antichrist. **So Obama's Satan as well. ** And they rejected the holy war in the middle, which resulted in the death of Osama Bin Laden, **Not necessarily, you oblivious dumbass.** one of the Satan's main servents, now binging in hell. **So in Hell, he's still allowed to use the internet, but is forced to use Bing instead of Google.** And the reject Christ and called America an idiot. **I'm quite confident an entire continent cannot be mentally retarded.** Surely these beasts deserves to go to the depths of hel," I told them. They were all amazed at my wisdom. **I'm starting to think this is some lonely, ultra-religious, mentally retarded Westboro Baptist Church member who lives in his mother's basement.** Mary looked at me admirable. Still I was uncomfortable, for their was a traitor out there, waiting to kill me, and killing is bad, and is a sin against lord Jesus Christ. **Yes. Yes...it is.** Killing a Christian is a sin.

Now therefore, behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all the false prophets, and the LORD hath spoken evil concerning thee. =1 Kings 22:23

And Thalia Grace came and repented in the main hall crying that she would not want to follow the ways of Satan. However, I did saw beyond her disgusting lies and stabbed her in her heart. **Seconds ago...SECONDS AGO. You said...ah, forget it. **And she died. **Obviously.** If she was telling the truth she would die a Christians death, if she was lying, she would be burning the flames of the eternal hell. **And you have no way of knowing that.**

And then we practice the ways of sword, **Like nothing happened.** for we knew the time was soon coming where the final battle between us and the evil followers of Satan, Percy Jackson as their leader, would come and kill us all, **Hopefully.** and we had to all be prepared incase this would happen, as if it did happen, we would all be dead and no one would be there to battle the eternal God **Wait...you're fighting GOD? I'M CONFUSED!**and his only holey **That was the 1573rd misspelled word.** begotten son, lord and savior, Jesus Chris of Narrative, and all hope would be lost for all eternal, unless the traitor got to us first, then in which we would still be dead and the message of Jesus Christ, protector of all, would not be teach to all people of this holy earth, but instead full trapped to the ways of the evil lord Stan, **God of Satanic whores and foul breasts!** for he will kill everyone on this earth, and killing is morally wrong, unless it is defending the faith. **Yeah, it's kinda late to correct yourself.**

Meanwhile, in the headquarters of Percy Jackson….

"We must invade tonight in the glory of Zues, the false god of Satran. **Who is "Satran"? God of Satan Bucks and bald speeches?** We must get rid of all the prayer warriors and turn the temple for their God, and lord and saviour Jedi Christ **JEDI CHRIST? Someone's been watching too much Star Wars!** to a false god temple," he said.

"Yes," said his slaves Bianca di Angelo, Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo, Bianca di Angelo and Grover Underwood. **And Grover Under-WAIT A SECOND GROVER'S DEAD!** "We will do the biddings of Satan disguised as Satan." **People doing the biddings of Satan...disguised as Satan. I have counted 666 Satans so far.**

To be continued….. **Really looking forward to it.**

See, people can be saved. All they have to do is admit to being a sinner, repent and become a true Christ, and not a false one, like the Church of England, who will burn in hell for their sins. Devoicing is a sin, **Brooklyn accent much?** and will be punished by being thrown into the flames of hell. Aman. **I've kept track. Now, any action in the world is now considered a sin, and will be punish by being thrown into the eternal flames of hell. So go ahead and rape, kill, and steal, folks, 'cause according to this guy, you're all going to hell anyway!**


	5. Chapter 5

**PancaekPirate:Sorry it took me so long to respond to you! Anyway, thank you so much. That review made my day.**

**mad:I respect your opinion, but I just don't know how you could have "loved" the Prayer Warriors. I know it's your opinion, not mine, but I suggest not reading this fic, because I'm not going to hold back.**

**Princess Anonymous:I wholeheartedly agree with you. BelieverInChrist and his fanfiction cannot just be left alone, being flamed constantly. The flames make no difference at all. So I decided to make this.**

**Constellapeia:He claims to be dyslexic, but I just think he has muscle spasms all over the keyboard whenever he types. I don't actually know if the quotes are fake, but they just seem a bit too ridiculous and violent for BIC not to have made them up. Thanks for that review, it's reviews like these that keep me going!**

I have decided to go under my real name, that is Thomas Brown, for all those have booked me for my username BelieverInChrist. **Don't get your hopes up.** Although I am still living within Christ, I must be separate, for I still have things to do, like making you all believe in his holy name. **I think all 7 billion humans in the world can agree that the word "Jesus Christ" is in the dictionary.**

Also note, I am not a belieber, like other people are saying. **Wow. Now the flamers are getting ridiculous. Insulting somebody based on Justin Bieber just proves you have run out of insults.** I do not know you are getting stuff like that from but it is not true. **...Welcome to the internet.** I am a believer, not a belieber, what ever that is I do not know.

I also like to note that I am not mocking Percy Jackson, I am just making note of the evilness that it is. **Dictionary definition of "mocking" treat with ridicule or contempt; deride, make note of the evilness that something is **Along with Harry Potter, The Golden Campus, **FAIL!** and the Narnia series, it is the most evilness this world has ever seen, beside Stan that is. **But what's so bad about Satanic whores and foul breasts?**

I am also not a troll. **The third step in detecting a troll:Ask it if it is a troll. If it says no, it is a troll.** A troll is a fantasy creative that only exist in fake books. **You mean the Three Billy Goats Gruff was never written and is just something pretending to be a book?** As its not in the bible, it is not ture at all. **Is the Statue of Liberty in the Bible? Are you in the Bible? Is Boxxy in the Bible? Well, I'm not sure if Boxxy is real or not, but you get my drift.** Do not bee fooled by lies such as that. All book aside from the holy bible, which is Latin for the book, are a lie. Remember that people. **So everyone, throw away your encyclopedias and start slaughtering some homosexuals and women who talk in church.**

I will also like to take note that I can speak Latin, **Anyone can use Google Translate.** such as this holy set of words: Ego vere fidelis in cuniculis. **Which means: I truly faithful in...rabbits?**

And so the devil and Percy Jackson talked in private, in Percy Jackson private mansion in England, for they allow satanic people to walk among us, **You hate everyone that isn't American, are zealously Christian, a bad speller, and a staunch conservative. That sounds like the common stereotype for a redneck.** (curse them all! Burn in hell buoy foul besets) **Muscle spasm!** for they needed to get away from all their evil followers, willing to do anything just to enter the heavenly gate of heaven just so that they can get this evil hands on the heavenly goods. And so the devil **It's weird how he starts all his sentences with "And". **walked back and forward in the depths of hell, thinking the order he would give to his most devoted follower, Percy Jackson, who has now changed his name to Percy Judas, for it made more sense seeming that he was a traitor to the faith, for he had once believe in Christ our lord and salary, **Free Jesus Bucks for everyone!** but became corrupted as time went one.

"And what must we do to please you wicked one, dear lord and master of all that is evil, and against the godness of God!," **Heavenly gate of heaven, godness of God...can't you be a little more creative?** Percy Judas told him. Satan had been in a bad mood today so he was really angry, **Shouldn't the Prince of Darkness always be in a bad mood?** as Percy Jackson **Percy JUDAS!** had escaped from good hero Jerry that day, instead of killing him in the name of the dark lord Satan.

"Thou shall kill Percy or you shall die yourself," he commanded him. **So Percy has to kill himself, or else he will die.** So he bowed.

"I will serve you for always as omg **Omg? The characters of the story keep saying random phrases at inappropriate times! **you live," Percy Jackson said.

(Because you are wondering why Jerry knows about the traitor, God warned him in his sleep the night before the attack). **Again, it's too late to correct yourself. Now you're just pulling a Gilesbie, not explaining fully what happened and explaining with random author's notes in the middle of something 4 chapters later.**

"Now go kill him or I will bring wrath across you and your friend Grover, who I would be willing to have as a sacrifice instead. **Once again, Grover is already dead because you mindlessly slaughtered him. Or did you forget that?** I will make you walk this earth wishing you had kill Jerry. Now go and kill. And also, I have palace a traitor among Jerry and his friend. I will not tell who the traitor is, but he will be the person that will tell you this word Deus mortuus. **SPOILER ALERT! God of the dead.** None of his follower will know what this means, but all you will do."

And so he went out looking for Jerry and find him and kill, but first hind the traitor first.

Dear God, forgive me for writing this chapter, and saying bad things about you, but I do knot mean it. **SURE you don't.** I will also obey you and tell all people of the your wonderful, loving, dogful behaviour. **God sticks out his tongue, barks, and craps on the street?** Amen.


	6. Chapter 6

**mad:To be honest, I knew they weren't allowed when I started this. I have little regard for the rules, and the site does a...questionable job at getting rid of fics that break the rules.**

**Zipper-daughter-of-Hermes:I try, I try.** **:)**

I know what a troll is. I looed it up on Conservapedia (God bless that holy website), which is fare more reliable than the liberal Wikipedia. **Well...it's better than Enclyclopedia Dramatica, I'll grant you that.** A troll is a creature, not someone that has two identity. If you are going by me having two names, BelieverInChrist (God bless that holy website) **Why did you say that again?** and Thomas Finn Brown, than yes, I am a troll. **What an idiot.** But I see no proof that a troll is what you say it is, and I believe Conservapedia more. **Which will only lead to your downfall.**

And I am a true Christian. I am mot mocking it. I am being brutally honest. **You can never find the right words...** People must suffer painful deaths before they are rewarded with the treasures of heathen. **I am not even Googling what that means...** Us Christian will suffer many playful deaths, **So Christians are always chewed to death by teething puppies?** but they will not be in vain, for wee will destroy all the nonbeleivbers. **"Do you like Justin Bieber?" "No." "DIE!"** And I will also like to say, atheist feel nothing. **Well I, as an atheist, feel nothing right now. You've made me so angry that I can never get angry again.** They are being controlled by the devil so it is not sinful to get rid of them. **So that makes millions of other Satans. He's got this in the bag.**

And so **AND SO AND SO AND SO** Jerry went back to his room to teach Mary even more, but also about how a woman must behave, **You did not. You did NOT just drop the sexism bomb.** for we deceived that it was time for us to get married. And so a explained to her that a wife must follow a man, even to his grave if need be. **He's racist, anti-atheist, anti-, a belieber (not that there's anything wrong with that), a troll, AND a sexist.** And I told her told plait her hare up for it was a offense to God and his holy eternal son Jesus Christy, our lord and savour. **So she has to offend God and Jesus for her husband. *sigh*, that's one less person going to heaven.**

And so we decided that we would get married in the weekend for it was Sunday and that was God`s day, and he will sorely blessed us. And we decided to wear white, both of us, for the color black was an evil colour **I see what you did there.** and a offensive to Gog. **Who's that? God of stolen tractors and dogful behavior?**

And so Joey **Who is Joey? **talked the gathering that had just been created, "Bow to false gods like Percy Jug **And who's Percy Jug? Man, you're making new characters come outta nowhere like crazy! **has done and you will surely bun in heath, **Okay, what the hell is this "heath" you keep referring to? Is it the place between Hell and Heaven where you're put in a bun and made into a sandwich?** for it is an offensive to God. They actually give good to their false gods, which is really offensive, such as to Zeus who married a whore Artimis. **You need to study up on your Greek mythology. We definitely do not need so many gods that are also whores.** And although they claim to fight against the so called evil god (they are all evil, so don't worried about that) Hades, **They don't fight against Hades.** even if Zeus son Poseidon disagrees with that. ***facepalm*** How can we accept such a lie like as truth. I will not. **DEFENSIVE!** The Bible is fare more simple, stating the you must believe in God or you burn in hell, how simple is that? **Yeah. "Believe in God or you'll go to Hell" is all the Bible says.** The Bible is the most beliebable, simple, and convincing book ever. **I sense sarcasm!** No matter how much J K Rowling can lie, he **It's a woman.** will never get a book better than the Bible, not matter how many people like his Books Hairy Potter and Percy Jackson, whos book is based on him. **Holy PIXIE STICKS, is Conservapedia really that stupid?** The Bible is truth, there is not doubt about that." And they clapped for my speech for it was a great speech. **Don't you mean pointless psychotic rant?**

And so Grober came tot he miami hall. **That made no sense at all. Either you really suck at spelling or you had a muscle spasm all over the keyboard.** And he said as a warning to me, "I will come to warn you of my brothers plain to kill. Convert to the false gods of a the greeks now or you will die a very gruesome death. Mahahahahaha." **Epic evil laugh.**

I was not plead at with Grover so I got his head and broke it, and then stabbed him in the heard, and pulled his eyes out. **It's funny how he says it so calmly and casually.** He lied there lifelessness. **Oh no, Grover died twice! Poor guy.** Suddenly, Percy Hanson **Percy Jackson, Percy Judas, Percy Jug...now Percy Hanson?** came out of nowhere an attacked me for no reason why so ever. **I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY!** I was able to attack him in the throat, but he got away yet again. I decided that my task was to go after him and make sure he suffered.

And so I got married to Mary and we went into our beds for the first time (I will not describe what happened for I do not want any atheist to get pleasure out of it and have an organism). **I damn well don't want to see YOU attempting to write a lemon.** And then she tired to convince me not to go after Percy Judas, but I decided that my mind had been mad up, I was to kill Percy Jackson even if it killed me. **That was...incredibly fast.** I would die for God and his holy eternal Son Judas Christ, our lord and saviour. **Misspelling Christ's name? That was a low blow, bro.**

And so I went out there and walked to the mansion of Percy Jackson. I was hoeing to kill him. Amen. **How is stroking a gardening tool along the soil or becoming a prostitute going to kill Percy Jackson/Judas/Jug/Hanson?**


	7. Chapter 7

I am not a troll and I am being serious here, you must repent or burned in hell. **I hope you're a troll. I'M JUST SAYIN.** Satan will disguise as anything to trick you to send yourself to hell. **Such as...I don't know, 80 percent of the world's population?** God does not sell people to hell, it is yourself that did it. Donut say anything wrong with this greatest story ever! **See? Even the food we eat hates this story?**

And so Jerry went and talked to his follower, who Mary the Virgin was in the crown (I never had sex with her **Uh...you DID in the last chapter.** for it is unlawful to do so for being Virgin when you die will be better to be seen as when you are infront of God). And he opened his moth: "Which laws are biding that these fools are following. Percy Jackson and his friend worship false demons in a vain attempt to defeat us. They are unlawful, unlike us who are. **Yeah, you, the holy Christian crusaders versus the evil Satanists, and you are the ones mindlessly slaughtering everyone.** We the Best Borrow church **Decoding...decoding...hey, I think he means...WESTBORO!** believe that the law should be biding to all. We believe also that freedom and library should be given to all. I also believe in gum control. **Yeah, those Dubble Bubble pieces are getting especially rowdy these days.**

"Of all laws that are important, it is the lawalty to hog that is important. **Hairy pigs are our masters? What a twist!** How can we live without God? **I dunno. Eat, drink, breathe. Boom, you're living.** He created us so that we could worship him deerly. He created the law **Actually, Congress did... **so we must obey it all. To all those who follow wicket ways such ass Percy **Hey, no need to swear!** and his fools, who worship false Gods such as Zeus and Venus, who were mothers and lovers, **I'm pretty sure ZEUS wasn't a mother.** such a sinful way. How could you worship these foul beasts, for they are sinful in the site of God. **Yeah, anyone who worships these wevil, foul breasts and not the dogful Judas Christ should burn in gell!**

"And what about murder? We do not commit murder, ***sound of brain imploding*** but Percy Jackson does. He say he is battling beasts, but they are ture followers of God. How can we let people like this keep being alive? They should be rid of and sent to hell for punchiness. **Once again, I am confident that isn't a word.** Murder is a sin, as told in the Bible, and so all the law must be obeyed. **Yes...it should. **They are evil, but we are good for we do not murder people. How can you deny that? If you deny that, you will be sent to hell. **Now you're just getting ridiculous.**

"And steeling is a crime for God says so in the Bible. God is the deniable trust **I don't know how to respond to that.** and must be obeyed and followed under all cost, for breaking this law will be against God`s law. Even if a family is starving, if child is caught stealing, his hands must be cut off. **Oh, Tom...no one likes you.** If lies, than their other hands must be cut off. **I don't know many children who have four hands...** Do not let sinners have the sight of day, for it is publishment of Godo **Who's Godo, the god of four-armed children and angry denial?**

"An lying is a sin, for God tells us so. Lying makes truthful seem like a lie. **That makes sense.** Lying can only leed to troubles, such as the Percy Jackson, who has sent a traitor to kill me (but I decided not to tell my followers yet of this, **Umm...YOU JUST DID.** for the parrot could come out at any moment) **See? Thomas Brown is hated by all humans, donuts, and parrots!** is a lie to us all. Satan lies, therefore it is a sin. Satan sins, God does god. **I wonder what it's like to "do" god. Wait a second...O_o **Lying should be published with stoning. **Everyone, if this guy becomes president, just shoot yourselves. Hell sound much better than his idea of how the world should be run.**

"And I end my speed to day with a prey for God: 'Prey for all the nonbelievers for they do not know what they are doing to us, **What are we doing?** let them see the way so that they can become unsinful people, if not they should be punished with flames of hurl. **Is that a layer of hell where you get puked on for eternity? **Believe at as a warning to you all for you must be published for all you sins for it is an offensive to Good. **You know what? I think I get it.** Believe it so and you will get a eternal life **I'd rather go to Hell.** at the revelation that John forward telled in his epic work Resolution (read it for answer in the after life, and the punishment of sinners, for it all is ture). And so it all ends', anen.** I knew it was coming. He misspelled Amen.**

Suddenly from my room came Mary (for I had lifted her there from the wonderful knight before) cam out of my room and yelled…

….."O god has given me a holey message for you to telly you. I am pregnant!" **Regardless of anybody's political opinion here, I think we can all agree that she should get an abortion.**


	8. Chapter 8

**ThanosofTitan:Then the Bible is pretty messed up.**

**A/N: Guys, I know BIC is the biggest jerk in existence and his stories are extremely offensive and all, but don't flame them. Flaming him does nothing but waste a few minutes of typing time. He doesn't care what anyone has to say, and no matter how creative your insults are, hundreds of people have said the same thing. So be the better person, and stay silent. If it's too late, it's alright, and I don't blame anyone. I'm just saying it doesn't stop him.**

How dare you mock me! **You said that...a million...times.** I am being honest to you all, if you do not repent, you will burn in hell. **And you said that two million times.** Without God and his holy eternal son Jesus Christ, then you will not the rewards of heaven and immortal life under God. I am not a troll and I never told I was a troll. **Except by...yourself.** You have all been mistaken. Satan lies to you all for he wants to drag you to the eternal flames of hell! **So do you. I don't get it, do you like Hell or hate it?**

I tell you all, there are people that will not burn in hell! **What, like, four?** These people will not burn in hell, for they are been blessed in the ways of Christ: WolvesRule612, Fulcon, Cimh, Agent Aleu, the holy bwobble for he has supported me, **Either he is lying, is in a mental hospital, or is mentally retarded.** and Lisa`s Hope, the new St Paul who turned away from sinful ways of being an atheist, but seeing the light and believe in the one true God and his son the Eternal Jesus, son of the only true God. **Can't we all just say "God and Jesus"?** There are many more who will see the ways of heaven, but many will suffer the pains of hell for believing in a false lie, such as Mr Rowling, who is a man because women should never be able to speak, **So if a woman speaks, she becomes a man?** they must obey their husbands at all cost, and if they do not have a husband, they should follow their father, for it is their father that brought them into the world, **I doubt this guy's even conservative. He's a damned fascist!** just like what God did in the Book of Genesis, which for all your uneducated Atheists is the first book in the Bible. You should read it, and you will understand the true love God gave to use by creating this world for us to live in. **It's funny how one moment they are talking about all the goodness and love of God and the next they are stoning women to death and slaughtering innocent people.**

And as I talked to my followers about the evilness of Percy Jackson and his friends, Mary came out from my bedroom and told me that see was pregnant with a child. And I asked her what the sex was, for it was important to know. I wanted to have a son so that I could name him after myself, which is Thomas. **What a douchebag.**

"Yes, it is a boy, so it will be named after you", she said. I was very pleased. However, I was annoyed that she had spoken out of term for a women should wait to they are in private before they talk to their husband, **This is your wife and you are treating her like a sex slave.** as what St Paul said in one of his epistles. "Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak", **Then St Paul is an idiot. **he said in the First Empties to the Corinthians, do you dare tell me that I know nothing about the Bible. I have read it many times, and I am an expert in it all. **Well, yeah...a lot of the stuff BIC believes actually comes from the Bible. Effed up, I know.**

And so she was made to go to her room, for she should rest, before the baby comes. Let her make clothes, for it is a job for women, and not for men. **All of a sudden, you are emphasizing on your sexism. A lot.** And so I taught even more to everyone, for they were interested in my wisdom, for I was very wise, **LOL** like King Solomon, of the same royal line as our Lord and Savour Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of the only God Jesus. **Jesus is the son of Jesus?**

And suddenly, came then came Zeus with Percy Jackson, his false son. **I'm starting to doubt you read these books.** And they warned that they will attack us without remorse, and kill every one of us. **But they didn't. Proving that they are merciful.** And I said, be gone Satan for you is not welcome here, and so they want away. **Swiper, no swiping!** And they went to their mansion to plan their next move.

And so I went to the church in the next town, for it was far away for them so know about Percy Jackson. And I warned them of their attack. And so it was agreed that I could stay there for a week, for I had to hide away from the traitor, who I knew was about to attack that week, for Percy Jackson told me so. **Uh...when exactly did this happen?**

And then it was there that I realised who the traitor was. It was Ethan, for he had worshipped false gods, who were disguised as Satan. **So the Greek gods were all Satan disguised as Greek gods disguised as Satan. That makes so much sense.** Once a Satanist, always a Satanist. He had lied, and not really repented. And So I decided to stay, and decided to leave after the week, for I needed to hide. **A sexist, racist, fascist, radical Christian, pro-slavery, AND a spineless coward.** And then it was decided that I would return to my followers and save them from the traitor.

And other people will be saved also, **Wait, what?** like Mel Gibson, for he put his woman in her place and for making a great movie about our lord and savvier Jesus Christ, and Christ Brown, for we both share the same surname, **NO! **not the same Christian name, and he also knows where to put his woman in her place. **What do you mean, "where"?**And there are many other people that cannot mention for I have very little room to say so, but I will say who they are in a latter chapter, for it well known that people will be saved from the fires of hell. But all nonbelievers must be punished. Amen. **What kind of ending was that?**


	9. Chapter 9

You hacker will bun in hell for eternal life for you have sinned against God. **HALLELUJAH!** And to claim that it was all a lie is also a sin. You will be punished for surely, for I am for real! **I'm so totally for real, man... *smokes weed*** I am a prophet of the lord, and I will get my own way! **Emotional brat.** You are not who you say you are, and however dare you call yourself a real believer in Christ! A hacker is only been sent by Stan as a lie to make me look like a fool, **Yeah. Me and 99% of the people who have read your story were sent be "Stan" to fool you.** but I same not a fool, but it is you that is a fool for hacking my account in the first place. You a will be surveying in the flames of the eternal claims of hell! You dare take me on when I have Dog on my seed! **Yeah, you better not mess with him. He's got a dog on his seed!** I am a protest of the lord and his give my power above all you you. Donut dare take me on again, **Why are donuts the only food that hates him?** for hacking is a sin, **Commandment 11:Thou shall not hack.** and will be punished as such.

"And number eleven is in face number seven, so said the lord on his holy day of death. Didn't I tell you how much of a fool you will be if you say such evil things to the lord and his holey son of Christ, Jesus our saviour, lord protector of all!" Jerry told his followers. **Sorry, but I have no idea what just happened.** And than he whinnies baked top his church, in which he wet and faced his traitor. **So let's see...he baked a Winnie the Pooh-shaped pancake on top of his church, then he peed his pants.** And it was none of other than Micheal that stood at the gates.

"You are too late! For it was Percy Jackson that made your wife pregnant! She is the traitor. So what mystic should we do to this creel women of a whore!" he assed me. **That has to be the most sexist thing anyone has said by anyone. "What a woman of a whore!" Cruel.**

"And I told him" take her to the tallest tower, and throw her from there, and if she is not dead, stone her to death. And if that does not work, **...I'm pretty confident that will work.** remove the head, like I did to Grover in the epic battle the first chapter, **Where he died. Then randomly came back to life.** and if you have not read that, go back and read it, or sleep you will go to hell! Beware of my warring! **Okay, I think that nobody truly deserves to go to Hell. But if anyone does, it is those who rape and murder, not anyone who hasn't read the first chapter of your story.**

And so Michael took her and killed her, along with the baby, who was Percy Jackson`s son!** Isn't that a form of abortion? Except much worse than the form YOU are against? **And so we had prayers. And then came Percy Jackson yelling "How dare you kill me wife"

"And I replayed," it was not your wife in the first pplace. So be gone from this site, or else I will have to deform you! Stan has lisped to you! **I am Thtan, and you, Perthy Judath, mutht kill Jerry!** Now you must realise your mistake, or I will be forced to remove you head just like I have done to my wire, who claimed to be a virgin bit was only a whore! **Because all women are whores, all Muslims are terrorists, and every non-Christian was created by Satan to fool you.**

"No, will not submit at all!" yelled Percy Jaqson. **Percy Jackson, Jug, Judas, Hanson, and Jaqson. Got it.**

So we battled with swords, on the top of the roof of the building, for we had agreed for the battle to be taken place there, for it was a goofy site for all of my followers to see my victory. **Did you really mean to say "goofy." Really. **But my sword let go from my hand and it dropped to the ground. I tied to pick it up, but I could not. Percy Jackson was a better fighter than me. **Did you really just ADMIT that someone was better than you?** So I prayed to God that he would have mercy on me, and on Percy Jackson, for he had only been following orders from Satan himself.

And Percy Jackson dropped his sword and realised something. He had seen the lord himself. "I will never worship a false god ever again. Satan, Zeus who climbed to be my father is only a lie. My father is now God and his only eternal son Jesus Christ! Behold I convert to your way." **Said the robot in a monotonous tone.**

And so a baptized Percy Jackson, who renamed himself Percy of Christ, **Dude, now there are 6 different Percies.** and we had many hours of prayer, along with Mary, who survived the stoning, who I had forgiven. **Shouldn't they have cut her head off? And I'm not even going to say anything about that second comment.** And we plotted the attack on Satan and his false gods. **You don't stand a fricken chance.** And now we had the knowledge of Percy of Christ. Amen. **Nobody cares.**

See, people can become followers of Chris. And now Perch of Christ **7.** will be saved and taken to the eternal clowns of heaven! **Shouldn't all the clowns be in Hell?** Amen and amen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a few days. But, with my lack of reveiws, I am feeling a little less motivated to write this story...If you like it, please review. Review if you don't like it. Review or you will bun in the eternal flames of heath!**

Stop reviewing my great story if you hate it. You will burn in hell anyway! **All the more of a reason for us to review it.** There is not point in trying to save you at all for you have ben corrupted by powers of evol, and that is Satan! And no Stan, I have no idea what that is. **Why, he is obviously the wevil god of Satanic whores and foul breasts!** Only review this story if there is something good to say or that you agree with every I say. **Then this story would have no reviews. At least Hitler respected SOME people.** All the rest of you are sick! You should not allow such evil things such as gays, women in power, and people that are crippled in the minds. **This is what happens when you don't watch Sesame Street as a kid. You become more hateful and arrogant than the Devil himself.**

And so I, Percy of Christ, went up to the staples to prey for my holey sole! **Let's see...this means he went to the staple aisle of a store to become a predator who is trying to find and eat his shoe that is filled with holes.** I had sinned so much, believing in such a lie that I whipped myself for God`s forgiveness, for I was not wordy of such as blessing. **Emo!** I wanted to end my life, but I realised that suicide is a sin and that I would burn in hell if I did so. Suicide must be published at all coast! **Let's translate this...Thomas Brown is writing a novel called "Suicide" and only wants it to be available at the east and west coasts of the United States.**

I went to Jerry for advice and he gave me berry god advise, **Holy crap man, do I have to make a joke about every other sentence you say?** and that was not to follow the evil ways of the geek gods **So all the Greek gods are Satan, are whores, and are geeks.** and follow the only true way and that was through our lord Jesus Christ, my only saviour, and not that liar of a father Zeus (I know Greek motherly very weal) **I think he meant to say "mythology". If so, that is the 369324th epic fail you managed to pull off in your life**. And he also said that I had to convert all those that had been left alive, for they must too know the greatness that is Jesus Christ, and that they had been follow false ways!

And so I went to the place where my old fiend Rachel, who I had dated on and off for the past few years (I did have sex with her in past, but I have changed so don't you put this in the wrong way). **He's even trying to make all the Percabeth fans angry.** And I said to here "Why must you follow those fools. I know you very well, you would beaver worship any false God, because I know you were a Christian before I put you in this mess. I now ask you to help me and in my quest to bring Christendom to the Camp, and remove all the evilness that it contains. Please help me, you are my only hope!" **Help me Rachel Dare, you are my only hope! If you get the reference, tell me in a review.**

"Yes I will," she said. "I knew you were not like anyone else. I believe you. **Well, you either "believe" the Prayer Warriors, or you get eaten by holy arthropods, and it's off to gell with you.** We must defeat these evils gods and Satan before they destroy anything else! **They haven't destroyed anything, ironically...** I will follow you and obey you every order. I will not speak out of term, and I will make sure I am a foot away from you at all times, for it is an offense for a women to go suck an thig. **You know what? Percy didn't convert her. More like "hypnotized".** I am a Prayer Warrior now and I want you to baptize me and my family, for none of us our baptized."

So I baptized all of her family, and they all became followers of our lord and choir Jesus Christ! I knew from that very moment that I would make a very good Preyer Warrrior and that Jerry of Christ would be very proud of me. **Yes...yes he would. But the other 99.99999999% of the world's population wouldn't be.**

"And behold my wisdom! For this is like Sodom and their wicked ways. God had warn them of all their sinning, and all of their ways of evil. He old them to stop worshiping Satan, and all other forms of evil sexual acts, **Worshipping Satan is a sexual act?** and instead, follow his holy laws, that's is the ten commandments, **So it turns out Satan made the commandments!** or else they will destroy them. If the Camp do not follow the ways of Christ, God will destroy them. But God gives us a warning. Follow Christ or you will be punished with the eternal salads of Hell!" **So in Hell, you are forced to use Bing, eat only salad, and be eaten by a foul breast.** I, Percy of Christ told them all! And they were amazed at my wisdom! **I don't doubt that they were amazed. But are you sure you know what they're amazed at?**

Stop reviewing my story! All you bring with you is fate and disgusting comments. None of you are true followers of the one true god! Truly convert or you will suffer! **Truly.** Amen. **Your idea of God sounds a lot to me like a lot of people's idea of the Devil. I'll leave you with that.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: To those of you, if any, who are worried about me not continuing this commentary, don't worry! I'll be continuing no matter what. But it is greatly appreciated if you review. Every time you review, Thomas Brown is shocked with 1,000 volts of electricity!**

I am not evil! I am striper of the lotd! **I seriously hope you didn't mean to say "Stripper of the Lord".** I am not a troll! **I doubt you are.** I have said this many times and you will not listen to me! I am being serious! **U MAD BRO?** There is not error at al! And my account was hacked! The hacker is lying! Do not beliebe it. **Now he's trying to make beliebers mad.** And there is good bands, such as The Beatles. **Where did that come from?** Their song Let It Be is a prayer to God and how they want everyone to know his undying love and that they were telling their story of their life. And Lilith was an atheistic lie. The Bible came from God, and nothing was ever cut out. That is the Koran that had stuff cut out. **That was the most retarded intro ever.**

I, Jerry, went to the temple and announced to all my friends that Percy of Christ had convert all of Rachael's household and was working on convert the rest of the camp that had fullen to false ways. **I'm surprised you didn't begin that sentence with "And so...".**

And then I said, "in the book of Exodus there was a mighty battle, and it was because of the courage of Moses that they won. I have courage and that means that we will win this battle **There's actually a big difference between courage and mindlessly killing innocent people! ** Do not lose hope, like all the nonbeleivers out there, for they deny God, and worshiper Satan and a beastly whore Artois. **Who's Artois? The god of, um...I'm out of ideas.** We must be fuel of courage. That way we will be able to defeat those without courage, such as the evil Greek Gods! **They don't need courage. If they go into their true form, it incinerates whoever looks at it.** Once we have done that, than we can work onto the false evil Roman Gods, **Whoa, sport. You're getting waaay ahead of yourself.** that once reign across the Roman Empire, but Constantine was able to defeat the evil Gods and made Jesus in rule of all of time!

"Now it is time to do such a thing. We must not focus one evil thing, but all evil thing. That is why I am sending one of my massagers to England to warn those there, **And give 'em a footrub while they're at it.** for they allow Witches and Wizards to live. They have a school there that allows these people to live. This evil school is called Hogwarts, and must be destroyed at all coast! **Great, now he's saying Harry Potter is Satanic. What's next? Pokemon turning out to be demons? Jerry converting all the aliens from Star Wars and convincing them that the Force is Satanic? Slaying all of the "Satanic" dwarves and elves from Lord of the Rings and killing Gandalf the Antichrist? I don't know.**

"Behold Michaela who warmed me of the attack will help me on thesis quest! Although he might not be here in person, we will support in Prayer! His story will be told in another story, so that it can gain maximum impact, and convert more people." Amen. **I didn't quite catch that...**

I will be writing another story The Prayer Warriors: Battle With The Itches! **Gah! Blast these terrible rashes from Satan! We must destroy all of the ants in this dogful world, for they are servants of Stan!** Read it to be safe, speak it to saved! **What a pitiful chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, I'll be going on vacation in a few days, and the vacation will last about a week. I'll see if I can update at all during that time, but if not, expect this to be the last update for a while.**

The Harry Potter fans will realise the true evilness that is there satanic book, and will convert to the way of Christ! **You know, this story has turned from a bunch of psychotic rants shoved in between the paragraphs of the story to very few paragraphs of the actual story shoved in between many paragraphs of psychotic rants.** You are all fools for saying such disgusting thigs! I hope you all bum ink hell! **I bet your family has not just a cross on the wall, but also a swastika, a Confederate flag, an Obama dart board, and a giant sign that says "EARTH IS NOT ROUND"**

And so Percy of Christ taught Rachael's household a holey lesson. And behold he said, "Dare not mock God, for his is holus. I was like a evil beast, having sex with a whore, but I have changed, and I a have become like St Paul, a true massager of Christ. **It's pretty easy to go to heaven. All you have to do is give Jesus a footrub and you will achieve Saint status.**

"I will also talk to Rachael's father, for he has sinned against the ways of God. Although he has been baptized in the ways of Christ, he can never enter his holy Church, for her father has removed his testacies, and that is a sin. **...That has to be the most ridiculous thing you have said so far.** God commands that anyone with a testacies should pray at home, everyone else must go to his holy church at least once a week on Sunday and pray for their soles! **So all men who attend church are castrated?** This also means that they must pray whenever they can. **Wow, testicles are more valuable than I thought!** This can be at home, at school, at work, and out and about. They must pray! If at home someone refuse to let you pray, make then leave your house! **Dammit, here he goes again.** If someone at school refuses you to pray, make them leave, may it be student or the teacher, they should not refuse someones right to pray. **Get out of this school, Mr. Jackson!** If someone refuses to let you pray at work, either quit your job, **So...it's better for your whole family to starve than for you to just swallow your pride and pray somewhere else.** or if you are the boss, fire the person that complains to you about praying. Even if they refuses to pray, they must be fired, for it is a sin against Christ! **Christ said that he promises to answer any prayer that anyone gives, not that you have to do it or you're going to Hell.** And if a police refuses to let you pray, continues to pray. Even if you are sent to prison, God will be proud at your bravery and courage, for that is what God rewards people with. **Personally, I'd rather have God disappointed in me then be in jail.** Obey God`s law, not mans law, for mans law is corrupt and evil, created be Satan! **Yeah! Man's law prevents us from raping and stealing and killing! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?**

"And now I must go my friend Tyson, for he must be converted also." And so I went to him and explains the ways of Christ, "Why worship a false god which will not give you eternal live, when you can worship a true God, who has a eternal son who died on the cross to save us all? My God can save you. Please convert, or you will suffer in the eternal flames of hell!" **Sounds pretty convincing to me.**

And Tyson said, "I will not convert for I love to sin too much." ** DURR DURR I LOVE EVIL I AM EVIL I WANT TO GO TO HELL AND I AM NOT BEING MINDLESSLY CONTROLLED BY THE AUTHOR** I was so annoyed that I took a stone and stoned him to death, for he would not submit to the way of our lord Jesus Christ, one true God. **Get a damned anger management program.**

And I said, "The fool is dead. God will not allow a nonbelieber to live. **There he goes again with Justin Bieber...** A fool will die a fools death! I will then move onto the camp and warm everyone else of the evilness of Satan, or they will suffer!"

I will not delete this story. You should or convert to the ways of Christ, or you will suffer the eternal flams of hell! **You know you converted about a hundred people to atheism...right?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:Well, guys, I am BACK from my vacation! I got back today, a few minutes ago, by the time I am typing this, and I can't wait to get back on schedule of commenting on this piece of crap.**

How dare you try to hack my account? Isn't that against the law? **Yeah...MAN'S law. Which was apparently "created by Satan"!** By bricking the law, you are turning away from God, therefore sinning, therefore sending yourself to the eternal flames of hell! **Therefore making me puke on my laptop.** I am trying to save the world from Satan`s wrath, not turn people away from God. **I know this is all, you know, for a good cause...but we could do without all the slaughtering innocent people and generally being a dick, you know?** Do not be fooled by fake Christians who state that we must love the atheists. We must rid our world of those enemies. And Jesus said that he came to bring the sword, and that is what I am doing! I will also like to thank my brother who helped me write this chapter. **In other words, "I WILL KILL ALL THE ATHEISTS ALL OF THEM DIE DIE DIE HAHAHAHA I would like to thank my brother for helping me write this chapter."**

"Who am I," Jerry asked. **A dick.** "I am the one that has been sent by God to save the world from evil. The Greek gods are one of those evils. They make their followers follow strict laws, such as giving up some of their food. Our God does not do this. **Of course, if our God thinks about 60% of the population is "wicked", he wipes all of them out but two with a flood.** He gives us more freedom. We give thanks to our food, but we do not give it up. And by giving up your food you are wasting good food that could have been eaten, and if it wasn't good to eat, like passed if used by date, and then we should feed it to the dogs, not give it up. **Because it is better to give food to dogs than gods.** And would we give up our house just because some false god tells us do so? No! We should not!" **Unless, of course, they blast us with lightning bolts.**

The people in the chambers clapped so much that the noise echoed so much that the sound was still heard after a minute or so. People came up to him and thanked him for all the wisdom he had given them. **These people's definition of "wisdom" is so messed up.** Mary stood at the door to her room. She looked pretty sad about something. **I WONDER WHAT!** Jerry decided to walk up to her to see is she was fine or not.

"Are you ok?" he asked her. She started to cry. "What is wrong? Please tell me and I will make sure things are made better." **Don't even try.**

"There`s nothing wrong," she said finally. "I am just pondering on your speech. It was great." **Hold on a sec, I gotta...*pukes***

"I know it was great, but your crying has nothing to do with it. Please tell me what the problem is. I want to know. Is it too cold in your bedroom? I can organize it so that you can get a room where the sun shines into your bedroom in the morning," he asked her. **He reminds me of my mom whenever I look even the slightest bit sad.**

"No," she said. "It has nothing to do with my bedroom. It is fine the way it is."

"So if it's not the room, what is it?" **...You aren't very good with girls, are you? Real girls, anyway.**

"Well," she paused. "I do think I can this baby." Jerry stood there in shock. **Translation: "I don't think I can have this baby."** He knew abortion was a sin, but to hear someone admit something like this was different.

"You know abortion is a sin against our lord Jesus Christ, the only way to heaven, and eternal son of God. By aborting, you have committed murder, and murder is a sin against God. **Unless, of course, it is "defending the faith".** God will punish you with the eternal flames of hell! Please reconsider and repent for all your sinning, for Satan has lied to you!" Jerry said. **How long did it take you to memorize that damn speech?**

"I AM NOT HAVING AN ABORTION! YOU ARE JUST COMING TO ASSUMPTIONS!" she yelled angrily. **Finally someone gets angry at him! Give this chick a hand, people! Woo!** She then paused again, and then stated calmly, "I was about to tell you that I want to put this child to adoption, so that a good caring Christian family can look after him. I am not ready to have a child."

Jerry, realizing what was going on, comforted her. "That is OK. I understand," as he patted her back. "Yes, abortion is a sin, but God allows us to give up child if it is for a loving purpose. It is better to adopt than abort. And I don't want you to be unhappy, nor would God. I support your decision." **Someone's trying to persuade his wife into the bedroom! I can't blame him. "I cannot believe you threw me off a building and stoned me almost to death! No sex for a week!"**

They stayed there for an hour talking, discussing their plans for the future. After that, Jerry and Mary said a prayer, and then parted, for Mary was tired.

Please stop reviewing my story. If you don't agree with it, ignore it! **Gosh, you're in a good mood today.** But remember, if you do so, you risk putting yourself in danger, for God will punish you with the eternal flames of hell. **Meh, too much to ask for.** And I also like thank Noah for helping write my story. You help has truly improved this story, and made it more enlightening. Amen. **I have to admit it has...**


	14. Chapter 14

How dart you moke my brothel ! **Yeah! He's got all the best satanic whores!** He was not dong anything wrong! **Oh, HE wasn't.** And never am I, I am just warring you about the punishment that awaits you if you keep sinning that way you at the moment. By worshiping Greek gods, **...You seriously think people still worship Greek gods.** you are putting ourselves at risk! Stop, and realise your mistakes! Please convert to the way of our lord Jesus Christ of narrative, only true son of the one eternal God! **Just "Jesus" is fine.** This is not offensive at all, how dare your call it as such. ***Pukes out blood*** And I find all your reviews sickening. None of you are Christians if you think atheists should be allowed! **So the only true Christians are Nazis that read the Bible every other second and kill innocent people to "defend the faith".** This is a Christian world, and should stay that way! **Screw you.**

So Percy of Christ went to his old Mentor Chiron, a master of betrayal. He knew that Chiron would be more accepting of his Christiane ways, that he would concert more easily. He went to a swamp where Chiral live, **Who is Chiral? God of killing innocent people to "defend the faith"?** and as Percy went down into the swamp he could see lots of dead bodies who were Christians martyrs, make him feel really sick. **But, of course, it was "to defend the faith".** He soon came to Chiron`s hut. He was into voodoo, a satanic form of magic invented at Hogwarts as a way to kill Christians on the spot, **So this is the kind of information tell you on Conservapedia...** but Percy prayed because he knew that our Fjord Jesus of Christo would save us, and reliever us from a sinful life! **I'm not sure that a boat can save us from a sinful life.** Believe in him!

I entered a the hut and I found Chiron sitting at a trample, gambling with another follower of the evil Stan, the murderer! He stopped and looked at me.

"Have you killed Jerry yet? We wanly want him to die, **To "defend the faith".** for we want to corrupt the word and sent everyone to yell!" he assed me. **Jerry is a dick that would stone his wife to death for doing nothing and kill people to "defend the faith", but if he dies, the whole "word" will be corrupted and everyone will be sent to "yell". A total Gary-Stu.**

"No" I sad. **Way to be blunt.**

"No?" he sled!

"No, because I have discovered the truthfulness in the world, and that is through my personal savior Jesus Christ, who has saved me and has promised to send me the eternal clowns of Leaven, **So this "Leaven" has eternal clowns? That sounds worse than Hell!** where angels sing, and I can hear Jesus speak to me with great words that will make anyone becoming a believer in Vista! I ass you to accept him as your lord and savor and be one of his massagers! **So Percy is willing to offer up his ass to Chiron if he just gives Jesus a footrub. **Please join me in turning he camp into a Christian cameo! Pease help me!

"God has told Jerry to tell me that greatness the rewards are with being with Christ! He does not pie, he does not murder, **Except that time when he killed everyone in two temples filled with innocent Satanists, almost killed his wife, killed Annabeth, and killed Grover twice. Other than that, he's just a saint!** and he will pretext us when the eternal flames of hell cover the earth, and he will dragged us up to his eternal pal axe! I was like St Paul, a person that hunted down Christians, but now I join them and I ass you to join them as well" is aid.

"Yes, will become a christen" Cola said. **Percy's words are so powerful, he managed to convert a can of Coke.**

"Thankyou, and I wail make you a preyer warrior just like ne!" said. So I baptized him, and he sent the gambler out of his house, for the person refused to accept our lord Jesus Christ! His body is rotting in the sea. **To defend the faith.**

"Yes, and I will o and talk to the camp and make the believers in Christ!" said Chiron of Christ.

So I waited there, while he went and talked to the camp. Suddenly, one of Chiron student (who I baptized as well) cam back panicking.

"THEY KILLED CHIRON AND THEN ATE HIM ALIVE!" he said. **That was a short-lived friendship... :.(** I stood in shock, wanting to throw up. **Like me whenever I read this story.** I became angry. They were not allowed to get away with killing a follower of our lord esus VChrist! I had to go to the camp myself! So I did. Outside Grover waited, along with an army of Nonbelievers, and the fold breast were dancing around Chiron of Christ`s boday. **So Grover has an army of boobs.**

"Who dare you kill a fellow Christian. You are like Judas, selling a friend for 30 gold coins. You will truly be punished," is aid. So I battled Grover, who just laughed and said mockery thigs to me, such as "you God is a lie" and "how are you stupid beaver!". **He's right...how the hell can Jerry be a beaver?** This made me even more angry! So I then cut his head of with sword, **Three times. Grover died three. Freakin. Times.** for I was a master of sword fighting, for Chiron of Christ had taught me how use a sword. And the over camp members realised that they were follower false goofs so they said that I had to baptize them. **Goofs. Seriously.** So a baptized ten of them, and got those ten to baptize the other. I did the same thing by making those ten into prayer warriors, and those ten turned everyone in prayer warriors. And so I had an army of Prayer Warriors. I sent a message to Jerry that I had converted the camp, and told him to come to the camp to decide our next move, with was to take on the false gods themselves! **I can't wait to see you die and go to Tartarus.**

I am glad they hav all become cHristian. She all people can get eternal lives if they truly beliced. Anem and anem! **I think he attempted to type this story with his pinky toes while doing the Worm.**


	15. Chapter 15

**MissAnnThropee:With all due respect, I am not the closed-minded fool here. Taking BelieverinChrist's side? You obviously haven't read his stories. His stories are the most offensive writings ever to be created. Most of the things you said are things most people are saying to him. I am mocking his story with good reason. And about your last comment, I tried, but it is simply not possible to shove my own head up my anus. :) Don't worry, I'm not mad. We're still cool.**

**...I hope.**

How dare they delete my story? What was I doing wrong? **Besides the killing? ** What about freedom of speech? Don't I have a right to state what I believe in! **Yes...but is not the place for it.** I am only warning you of the dangerous of sinning. **And killing innocents to "defend the faith".** According to the Bible, sin is evil and should be punished. **UH NO ITS NOT** And with America allowing these sinners to continue, God will punish them as well, for allow sinners to continue sinning is a sin. **My head hurts...** America will burn in hell the way we are going at the moment. **Apparently eating cheeseburgers is a sin.** Submit of the ways of our lord Jesus Christ, God`s only begotten son, and follow his holy laws, that is the Ten Commandment, and we will all go to heaven. At the moment, a lot of you will burn in hell simply because you turn a blind eye to the problem that is with America, and that is Atheists! They have poisoned young children`s minds with liberal propaganda, with their antichrist Obama. **I am not commenting about my opinion on Obama, but I think we can agree that the idea of Obama being the antichrist is ridiculous.** We must stop this now! Bring America back to its God-fearing ways. Let all true American men pray loudly for God's forgiveness, for we are not worthy of it. But God is a just God and he will save us if we stop all this sinning! I like to say thank you to Noah for helping me write this chapter. **"YOU WILL ALL GO TO HELL GO TO HELL AMERICA DIE DIE DIE MWAHAHAHA I would like to thank Noah for helping me write this chapter.**

And a messenger came to Jerry and told him of the conversion of the camp to the ways of Christ. He was happy that all of them had been baptized and turned into prayer warriors. He now had an army to defeat Satan and his false God. **(s)** Now I knew it was safe to go to the camp and met Percy of Christ again and examine the new followers, and work out the next move.

I said to my followers, "Great news everyone, we are one more move towards turning this country back to a Christian Nation. The camp that once worshiped false gods of the Greeks, have now converted to the ways of Christ and will help us in our cause. I will meet up with Percy of Christ and work out our next move. We will march soon on the temples of the false gods and destroy them all. **I bet they will actually beat them by praying to God. God won't end world hunger, but APPARENTLY he'll kill all the Greek Gods if a bunch of serial killers ask him to.** I promise you that we will be victorious. God is merciful and will punish all wrong doers. **That isn't merciful.** I am glad to tell you that even though you might die tonight, you will die a martyr's death and will live in the eternal clouds of Heaven. Damn those that chooses not to fight, and does not support our troops overseas, for they are defending us from terrorist threats that plan to kill us all and turn our country into an extremist state. **Go terrorists and Satan!** And worst of all, the extremist liberal Obama, who is secretly a Muslim, is allowing this to happen, damn him to hell! Trump for 2012! Amen." **As of February 2012, I think we can all guess who he is currently voting for.** And everyone cheered.

So Jerry went to the camp, and out came Percy. And he said, "I am said for my mentor, a great Christian man ***centaur** has died to night. We berried him in the Christian manner, which is arms crossed, body up, so that he can leave his coffin at the last judgement and be proud of his martyr-hood. **So Chiron will become a zombie?** I have hung the person that killed him, for murderer must be punished. The death venality is lust! **Wait, what's this about lust?**

"But you have come here not just for Chiron`s death, but for the army I have prepared for you. Fine Christian men and they will aid you in your mission to destroy the evil gods that once enslaved me. I have a man named Luke who will help you in your ways, for he is the greatest fighter we have. He will lead the great battle that will happen tonight." **I hope they're talking about Luke Skywalker.**

And I said, "I am glad of your victory. But time is not to be wasted, so let us march to night, for we need to rid those sinners from our Christian Nation. Tell you men to arm yourselves, and tell the women to support them with food and aid, for the men will need it. Bless us in the name of our lord Jesus Christ! Amen and amen and amen. **and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen and amen**

My age is seventeen, not ten you uninformed idiots. **I was thinking five!** And my brother is thirteen, not fifteen. **I was thinking eighteen!** I have no idea where you get your information from, but it is all wrong and it is all full of liberal lies! **I don't think he's ever heard of the concept of "guessing".** And my brother is going to be posting his Prayer Warrior sorry up tomorrow! And damn those liberal atheistic scrum that want to take our right to arm away. **Getting off topic again.** We want our bullets back, and we want to be able to protect ourselves from a liberal extremist government that wants to enslave us into the atheistic way! **Because it's perfectly sensible to shoot liberal government officials to "defend yourself".** God bless our conservative ways and the army! Amen.


	16. Chapter 16

How dare you accuse me of being a troll? I am not a troll. **I think I got that in my head after the 11th time.** I am being very serious about this issue. I am a true Christian and will not lie, at all. **Yet you murder freely?** How can you call yourselves Christians when you don't recognisee a fellow Christian? And I know that you none of the you have really read the Bible. Have you even read the books that Moses has written? You calm to be Christians but never follow the ten commitments. **In this story, your "hero" broke over half of them, you goddamned hypocrite.** This is not laughing issue, this is very serous, **HAHAHAHAHAHA!** you must cede this very impairment issue. Truly worship our lord Jesus Christ, savours of all, and do good wok, such as not being gay, **So if you aren't homosexual, you are working. Makes so much sense. **and not stealing, and not lying, or even murdering people who people shouldn't burger. **FUN FACT: "Burger" is not a verb.**

"WE are one step ahead of the enemy now. They do not know that there camp has turned against them, ad the camp is now willing to help us destroy these evil satanic Temples. This will truly cripple Stan. I will go an destroy all the temples of the whore god Atomist and and Venus, and Percy of Christ will destroys of Zeus and Neptune, and Luke of Christ will destroy the temples of Mars and Ares, for they are the most dangerous gods of them all. **Dude, not even your entire stupid army can defeat ONE god, let alone each person assigned to destroy two.** We need to find these Gods and slay them, for this is the punishment they needed for they have sinned for too long and rejected our lord Jesuit Christ, the only forgotten don of the one tire God, and our lord and savours!" and everyone cheered to my speech. **I imagine BIC doesn't have many friends at school.** Percy of Christ, and Luke of Christ congratulated me for a very insuring peach. **My servants, I assure you that this peach will be the solution to all of our problems!**

And so my army went to the temple of Artemis where her virgin whores **Virgin whores? How does that even make sense?** were doing very wrong things to a group of wed-locked men. We were very angry at this, so that we killed all the men, **Why the men...** and forced the whores to burry them, and also to dig their own graves. And we then stoned them to death and throw there bodies in to the grave. But we left the graces opens so that wild animals would eat there bodies. **That sounds like something a Satanic cult would do. But this story messed up my head so much, I'm not sure if God or Satan is the bad guy anymore.**

And in the deepest chamber I discovered Artemis who was calculating the money she had mad off her whores. I went up to her and stabbed her in her eyes, and she screamed. "How dare you try and kill me. I will send rocks down to kill you." **Artemis is the maiden goddess of the hunt, not of virgin whores and flying rocks.**

I laughed. "You are no god. You have no power at all. Bow now to go, or I will sent you to the gates of hell." **That quote sounds precisely like something the Devil would say.**

"No, I will defeat you," she spat. Because of she said that I slit her slits and her lifeless body laid there. **Hey, now I know how to kill a god! All you have to do is slit her slits!** We put her head on a stake to show the followers of Artemis that she was a flake god, **So Artemis isn't the goddess of virgin whores, but of cereal?** and that she was now burning in hell!

I went to the temple of Venus, who was kissing another women. **Hell yeah!** I decided thaw that she had sinned too much and that I was not going to give her a chance at all to repent. So I cut her head of and put it on a stake. And then all her followers converted to the way of our lord Jesus Christ, and they were sent back to the camp, **You mean concentration camp.** to be baptized. We burnt the temple down for it was to poisoned by sinfulness that it was too late to be concerted into a church.

Everyone should read my brother`s story The Brayer Warriors: A Believer`s Journal. It is very good, and very Christiane. **By your standards? I think not.**


	17. Chapter 17

If you don like this storey sop revoking it! **Half of each chapter is just a psychotic rant on how we will all burn in hell and to stop flaming this piece of crap.** This is for Christens to read not for you stannic scrum! And Noah you also sop telling me wart to do! Tis is my storey not yours. If kept telling me to sop wiring this stasis then I will have too disown you! **Looks like he is even more of a jerk in real life than he is in this story.** Are you wit me or agonist me. All you people that clam to be Christians are lying! You burn in hell for your sins! **Now that THAT's over with, let's go on with the story!**

I Percy of Christ went with my army of Rod-fearing Christian shoulders **I think you mean "God-fearing Christian soldiers." And a bit of advice...a god-fearing army isn't the best way to kill gods.**to attack the temples of Sues and Poisons. **Sues, the god of satyrs who randomly come back to life, and Poisons, the god of Satanic brothels!** And I talked to my army, "We are near to those fools hoe would murder us in our slap. These evil people will do any trickery to make us die, and they will be very dangerous. Do not believer a spinel thing to come out of their digesting moths. **If a moth crapped out its own spine right in front of me, I wouldn't believe it either.** They will deserve you, so if they do so, don't think wise to kill them, for there are dangerous and they worship Stan and accept the theory of Evolution which is a false theory, as man does not come from a monkey, but God, and God along. **Actually evolution says that men and monkeys come from a common ancestor that is half man, half monkey...idiot.** And God gave his onyx begotten son our lord Jessie Christ **That sounds like a porn star name. **could forgive us and send us to the eternal clones of Heaven, **They clone people in heaven?** the gamest thing to ever exist where we can talk to Jesus Chris and his father and our father God the almighty, the protector of all that is holly and worships the one true God and his eternal son, our lord Jesus Christ, for died on the cross for our sin, **So God worships the one true God and his eternal son Jesus Christ...what? **which is the best thing to ever happen to us **Besides canned bread.** because if this neither happens then we would be burning in the eternal flams of bell, and God would refuse to forgive our sin, which came from the sinful Eve, the first women. **You make God sound like a complete jerk.** And so we will march now and destroy all the is unduly! Go force! Amen."

And my army said, "We will follower your to were ever you will make us goo. We will kill all nonbeliebers **Again with Justin Bieber...** if you tell us do so for they are unholy and only reserves a painful and painful death. God is Grete, and so is his eternal begotten son our lord and slavery Justus Christ." **droned the robot army.**

So we went into the temple of Zeus, and in the mina gall there was a man that was raping a incessant girl, who was screaming. We dragged the man by his hare to the center of the Rome AND we stoned him to death. **Then you went back and gang-raped the girl, because, you're all just GOOD like that and you can kill and rape all you want because you're going to heaven anyway because you do it for God. Apparently.** We saved the girl because she was screaming, and that means that she wasn't enjoying it. **I don't like doing homework, but do I have to scream constantly while I am doing it?** If she wasn't screaming then it meant that she was enjoying it and that it was adultery, and she would have been stoned as well. Read Deuteronomy chapter twenty-too for proof. **No.**

And we whet into the main chamber and I came on front of my father Zeus. "I disown you, you are not my father, and God is my father!" I yelled, because if I didn't say that and then kill him, then I would be worthy of death. Now that he wasn't my father, I could kill him. **He was never your father. DUN DUN DUNNNNN!** So I stabbed him in the heart, and he died. **Because any old teenage guy can just stab the king of the gods in the heart, and he'll die.** I dragged the boy out so that all his followers could see the he wasn't a god. And all his followers become Christians. **Why Christians? They could have just as easily become Hindus or Muslims or Jews, but no because they're all "Satanic", I guess.**

We then went to the temple of Poseidon and slayed him, and killed all his followers. The temple of Zeus was turned into a church and Poseidon`s temple was burnt down. **Poseidon is the ocean god. You can't burn down his damn temple.**

You Thorold Camping is a liver, you will burn in hell for your sinning and lying! The world has not ended! **...The world...ended? Well, if BIC said it, I can only assume it's a lie. I'll go with that for now.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Love Chocolate Writing:There are two reasons I am mocking his story. One:This story is so offensive that people fail to see how...stupid it is. I am only lightening the mood of it. Two:All of BelieverInChrist's stories break countless Fanfiction rules. They have been reported countless times, but to absolutely no avail. I have a plan, however...there is no way Fanfiction can remove this story, which breaks only one rule, without removing BelieverInChrist's. I am hoping against all hope that this action will help the people who run this sight see just how serious this situation is. **

**Three chapters left, guys. Let's get this stupid thing over with.**

I, Luke of Christ, the nocturnal savior and lord, **So...Luke is God and Jesus, basically?** commands an amy to defeat the evil gods Mars and Ares, who are **The same thing.** too efferent gods so sop teaching me abound thing I now lots about. **The only thing you know lots about is how to be a bad speller!** I was once a Satanist that sortied fusel gods, but now I turn and am against there weevil ways, for al they do enlace apple! **Yeah! The Greek gods are evil because they...enlace apples?** And now I free all people so tat they can know the ture way.

And so talked to my followers, who were reedy for a goffering speech. And is aid "Behold the gravest thing to ever happen to world, and Tata is the defeat of the evil gods, and the gory of the one true almighty God and all his grittiness! **I'm running out of jokes to make about this guy's terrible spelling...** We where all sinners, but now we are not for we have asserted Jesus Christ as a personal salary and lore, and now we will got the eternal parasite of Heaven! **Heaven is full of parasites and clowns? Doesn't sound so good to me.** So now match to feet the evil gods of the geeks for these are too last false gosh to be edited!" And environ chaired, and was pout of tithe all! **People cheered at Hitler's speeches. Most did because they were scared of what would happened if they didn't.**

And so we went to the temple of Mars and we had a massage battle with their shoulders **"A massage battle with their shoulders"...those misspelled words go perfect together! **who were satanic scrums hoe deserves to deice. And once the battle was over, we berried our dead in true Christian method, bit all the satanic scum who we killed them all we let rot, for they were not going to Graven so there wasn't not point in birdying them. **Is it just me or has BIC's mental capacity degraded since the start of this story?** And we looed everywhere but could not find Mars, for it turned out that he gone to the temple of Ares. **Which is technically the same place...**

So we went to the temple of Ares and have another message battle and because God cared for us that he made us super throng! And so no of us died, but we killed all the nonbeliebers! **Let's see...a battle between an army of retards versus a god and his minions and the retard army had no casualities because "God cared for them".** And we did the same thigs as we did to the folly woes of Mars.

And we went inroad the main chamfer and hound Mars and Ares talking. And one them said "Even if the kill us at least there is Hades to kill them all mercilessly and resonate us so that we can convince the world that we are actually reel gods."

Mars said "I agree, we will be bigger than Jesus!" and he alighted a creel laugh. **Jesus was fat?** This mad me made that I had a massage battle with them. And I cut both of their heads off. And all the followers of Mars and Ares converted. **This reminds me vaguely of some kind of army video game, killing a god so all his soldiers are converted to your side.** But I was distressed and had to give a massage to Jerry and Percy Jackson, a butt Hades. **I'm not sure if you can massage Jerry, Percy OF CHRIST, and Hades' ass all at the same time...**

And then I went and married Rachel for I loved her very much and though she would make a god house wife. And then we went to our rooms. **And then we had sex. And then we had kids. And then I stoned her to death for no reason. The end.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Two chapters left...c'mon, people. Let's try and bear it.**

I have not got a new proof-reader and her name is Ebony Brown my cousin so there shouldn't be any errors, are you happy now? **To tell you the truth, no.** And ignore my coward of a brother, he runs away like that, but he will return to the one true God! **If you go on Noah's profile, Noahmania, and read his stories, you will see he is a good guy. Very different than his brother.** He is misguided and needs to be taught the true way of Christ and how you should take it like a man. Jesus didn't run away from the cross but embraced it instead. You will return and you will be begging for forgiveness! **And THAT is why BIC has no friends.**

I will be writing one more chapter to this great story, **Sorry, I...just spit soda all over my keyboard.** so I can focus on my other story The Battle with the Witches. **Speaking of which, after this commentary is done, I'll move on to comment on that one!** This story has told its message and now it is time to move on. I hope you enjoyed this beautiful story. **Yeah...it was so beautiful! I constantly cried while reading it because it was so retarded!** I am sad that it is coming to an end. The next chapter will tie up any lose ends, and I will not disappoint you. May the glory of the one true God bless this great story, and may it last the test of time! **You know what? Everyone hates your story, SO STOP PRETENDING THEY DON'T.**

And behold Luke came before Jerry and Percy Jackson, as they celebrate the defeats of the evil gods of the Greeks. They and their army were singing songs praising the glory of the one true God and his eternal begotten son Jesus Christ. Luke didn't want to distress them so he let them finish their song. Once they were finished, Luke told them, "Glory is upon God, the false gods Mars and Ares have been slayed, and all their followers have been baptized and are now followers of Christ. But despite our victory, I am distressed, for there is another threat. One false god remains, and his name is Hades, the protector of Hell! He is Satan`s most elite servant and the only way to defeat him is to travel into the depths of hell itself." **The easiest way for you to go to Hell? Just wait. Until you die.**

Everyone screamed, not wanting to go to hell, but Jerry and Percy Jackson stepped up, "We will go by ourselves on behalf of all of you, if you do not dare to follow. We will honor God and his eternal son Jesus Christ, even if it remaining in the depths of hell! **Okay, three mortals going to Hell and fighting a god? Not even God can help them win.** God is great and will honor us anyway. He is grateful in every way. And it will be an honor to serve such a great God. I pray to our lord and savior Jesus Christ that he will protect our every move! Amen and amen." **This story makes a lot more sense if you replace the word "God" with "Satan" and "Jesus Christ" with "The Antichrist".**

And everyone cheered for we were very brave. **There is a fine line between "brave" and "stupid". ** But we worked to the hours of the night finding the best way into hell, and after long laboring it was decided that we would say "Hail Satan" and have one of our shoulders kill us. And so this is what they did. **You didn't have to say "Hail Satan", you know...**

And in the next chapter I will talk about Percy Jackson and Jerry`s adventures in hell, and how they managed to kill Hades! **SPOILER ALERT!** Amen and amen!


	20. Chapter 20

**Last chapter already. Quite an emotional story, isn't it?**

Because Robert Siegfried asked me to do so, this will be the last chapter. I will continue my other Prayer Warrior story The Battle with the Witches, but it will not be as forceful as this one (even though I do not see what is wrong with this). **A blind, deaf monkey with AIDS could see what was wrong with this.** I will also like to thank Ebony Brown for proof-reading this story. **THANK SATAN. Do I worship Satan? No, but as long as I am commenting on this story, I will say that, since only in BIC's stories, Satan is good.**

Behold we were in deeps of the evil Hell! It was really hot, and it made us sweat. **...NO WAY! REALLY?** In the heat we walked for what it seemed like many hours, but we knew it was only a few minutes according to Jerry`s watch. **Jerry's watch sucks, then.** We keep turning to see all the sinners chained up, it made us happy that these evil beings are being punished. **Do you get off on this? Is all those sinners being punished giving you a boner or something?** Percy was glad that he had turned away from Satan`s path, and turned to God, so that he wouldn't be punished like this at the final Judgement where the heavens open up and all the Christians go up to heaven and enjoy eternity with our lord and savior Jesus Christ. **Hitler was a Christian...just saying.** We soon came to a room, which was locked. So we prayed for an hour that God will make the door uncork itself and open and let us enter. And God answered our wishes and the door unlocked itself and we entered. And side was Hades himself. He looked even scarier than all the other false gods of the Greeks. He had burning red skin and brown satanic horns that were so long that they went around in circles many times. **That picture in my head is actually kinda funny!** He bereaved out smoke from his ungodly noises, and his hands were burning with disgusting black flames. The sight was disturbing, **Not as disturbing as stoning your own wife to death and then expecting her to beg to be forgiven.** but we knew that it was not as strong as he made himself out to be, and that God and his eternal only begotten holy son Jesus Christ of Narrative, our lord and savior would give us great strength and courage to defeat this evil satanic enemy that should before us.

And we stood up and said, "You evil rain of terror is about to end! For too long have you be sending death to all the Christians in painful ways. **Once again, the Greek gods have done NOTHING evil in this story.** You have been serving Satan and that is a sin, and it is too be punished. I hope you burn in the eternal flames of hells because you deserve it, you evil sinner, the most devilish of them all! **Hades must be pretty patient to not incinerate them right now.** Because of you sins, God refuses to forgive you, which gives us no choice but to kill you. Behold your eternal fate, the eternal flames of hell! Amen!"

Hades laughed and said with an evil deep voice, "Fools of want to play fool`s game. You will never be able to defeat me. No one can beat me, not even God and his eternal begotten son Jesus Christ. They all fear me, and there is no way even a Christian can defeat me. **Because Christians are more powerful than God. **No sword can stab me, because any stabs to me is creates no harm at all! And I am a master in sword fighting, greater than anything. I am the greatest of all the false gods of the Greek. There is no way on earth that you can beat me!" **Funny how there are only two paragraphs of this story left.**

And we said, "We are in hell, not on earth, and we have a weapon greater than a sword." And so we dropped down and we prayed dearly to God that he can punish Hades. And Hades dropped to the ground and then blew up, caused by our prayer. **Funny how the EPIC BATTLE AGAINST HADES lasted two sentences. TWO. **"This is one lesson you should learn, never take on a Prayer Warrior! We will win all the time, for God is on our side!"

And so we went back to the camp knowing that we had earned a place in heaven. **Um...aren't you already dead?** And so the entire camp partied in a Christian Manner know that we can worship God safely, and knowing that America was a Christian nation again. **How so?** And so we prayed and sang songs about God all night. And Percy then got married to Clarisse for they loved each other very much. And Satan ran back to England.

THE END **WHAT KIND OF ENDING WAS THAT?**

Amen and amen **Well guys, that is the end. Stay on the lookout for my new story, The Prayer Warriors: Battle With The Witches Commentary!**


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